You think you need it, but really you just want it.
Remember this on every occasion
Like when somebody asks, "Do you need ----?"
Yesterday when I got home from work, my original intention was to grab an overdue movie rental and jet it back to the store, and then pick up a pizza for supper. These things still happened, but not til after I helped my roommate jump her car. The lights had been left on, and the car was parked in the driveway, boxed between two houses and a fence.
She put the car in neutral. I asked her to steer it 'wrong ways' up the street so it would face my truck. Then I pushed the car out of the driveway, where it blocked the street. So I had her crank the wheel the other way while I pushed her all of two feet toward my truck, and then crank the wheel all the way the other way until she bumped the curb again.... six points later, we had the car aimed for my truck and no longer blocked the road.
A couple of handsome young men sauntered from down the street. "Do you need some help?" one of them asked, as the car rolled forward easily to its destination.
"Well, I've kinda got it now," I responded, rather proud of myself, but naturally wishing I didn't have to be so dang honest and come across grouchy and standoffish. They helpfully patted the hood as the car rolled its final three feet forward, and then sauntered back home.
I watched them regretfully as Kim and I sorted out the jumper cables, and fussed to her how I just messed up a chance to accept gentlemanly help. How, though I could have stuck to the technical truth that I didn't 'need' help, I could have ended the conversation on a more neighborly note. "Wait!"I could have said. They turn. "I didn't mean to be rude. Thank you for coming to help. It was nice of you." That's all. I could even lay it on a little thicker, "Next time, I'll be sure to ask you before I've done it myself." Yes. That's all. Nothing more. Closure.
Part 2: Closure
At the end of a long day today, I did some late night grocery shopping at parked roadside around ten o'clock. I tiredly opened the back of my truck, and began loading up with my groceries. My typical pride welled up as I determined that I would carry it all in one trip.
Two grocery bags hung from my left arm, and my left hand clenched two gallons of milk. Then I added a pack of bottled green tea in the crook of the same arm.
A car pulled up a little behind me. I faced the glaring lights for a moment, didn't recognize the car, and turned back to my groceries. Right arm: one bag hangs from arm, pick up second pack of green tea, and hand clasps last bag with two egg cartons.
I 'magically' closed the back door of the truck and turned again to see who had been in the car behind me. He was walking away with a little machismo.
"Are you the guy that came to help us with the car yesterday?"
"Yep."
"Thank you. I didn't mean to be rude. It was really nice of you to come offer to help."
"Oh, it's fine, you're welcome."
"Hehe, next time I need help I'll come find you first."
"Okay," he said and went into his house.
I smiled contentedly that I had found the closure I imagined last night. I had apologized, thanked, and expressed a convivial appreciation for neighborliness.
I 'magically' unlocked my front door and set down my burden of groceries one bag at a time.
